The Brants Experience A Cavernous Yawp

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“It’s a mind-journey on a neuron-bus, and we’re tunneling right into the gushy swamp of your psyche!” howled Prebius Cocklore, center, self-proclaimed Lord of the Incontinent Tumult. The occasion is the opening night of A Cavernous Yawp, the new Punchdrunk-produced piece of interactive theater loosely based on Shakespeare’s Henry IV and Matthew Barney’s Cremaster cycle. “TBH feeling totes out of my element,” Harry texted shortly after arriving (Yawp participants are not allowed to speak or “gesture in an evocative manner” during the evening-length production). “Just got brought into basement on an elevator sculpted to look like massive pair of descending testicles WTF.”

The production unfurled in the cavernous, recently redeveloped building formerly occupied by leather-daddy emporium/slam-poetry cafe The Silent Duck. V.I.P. participants were treated to a variety of clandestine, choreographed experiences, including a petroleum jelly Slip-and-Slide and the Slapping Chamber, an enigmatic audience favorite. “My favorite scene was definitely the Sad & Fecal Bath Of Henry’s Cousin,” Harry offered. “It was so raw, so real, and the Bjork soundtrack just really completed it.”

“When I was maybe 7 or 8, Patriarch Peter I held a private party at our Aspen glasshouse,” Peter II said after the performance. “The kids snuck out to watch. You know the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan? Imagine that, but replace all the bullets with like, spurts of bodily fluids. And then add some midgets on unicycles and a dozen ski instructors rotating on a Lazy Susan. What I mean is that Yawp really brought me back to that pivotal childhood experience, except in this case all the waiters were trying to fuck me.”