Old Spice Guy Cast In Jennifer Aniston Film

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Breaking news! Isaiah Mustafa — the “Old Spice Guy” (ladies!) — has been cast in a Jennifer Aniston film titled Horrible Bosses. This thrilling tidbit was revealed in an extensive, super exclusive interview in which The Hollywood Reporter sat down with the “Old Spice Guy” (~10% of fellas!) to find out what makes him tick, what he thinks of the cast of The Jersey Shore, and how he — and he alone — can cure Jennifer Aniston’s arid, babyless ladybits. My favorite part of the interview after the break.

Despite all the tales of how the sudsy, moist, sexy “Old Spice Guy” (asexual women who still like to be cuddled by sexy men sometimes!) is going to put so many babies into Jennifer Aniston — by playing a “smaller role” in a “funny, irreverent” comedy — my real favorite part of the interview was this:

THR: In the commercials (check out one below), you appear to be quite the ladies man, but you have been dating dancer Brandi Oglesby. So, does art not imitate life?

Mustafa: No, I’m not one of those guys. If a woman is into me, it usually takes me awhile to figure that out. She has to hit me over the head with it.

Haha! Sorry Isaiah Mustafa, I may have been born last night, but last night was when all the babies who are really good at discerning a PR agent’s skilled work were born (do I have that saying right?). “I’m sorry, I’m just an impeccably muscled, suave former NFL wide receiver who just starred in a series of beloved, widely viewed commercials in which I play an unstoppable wave of machismo — I have no idea when women are attracted to me.” He should have added, “because they are always attracted to me. It’s like how fish doesn’t know they’re in the water, you know? Because they’re around it all the time?”

Anyway, Isaiah Mustafa + Jennifer Aniston, ladies and gentlemen. Isn’t the earth already overpopulated?