Continental Passenger Micturates on Seatmate

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imageIf confused, look it up. Much like a blackout-drunk college freshman, Jerome Kenneth Kingzio seemed to have forgotten where the toilet was on his Continental LA-Honolulu flight. So he decided that any old place would do. Unfortunately for his 66-year old seatmate, he unzipped and unloaded directly on her lap. The defiled woman was innocently watching the in-flight movie on the six-hour flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu, where she was headed for a scuba vacation.

No word on what Kingzio wanted to do in the idyllic islands, but whatever it was, his plans have now changed to include three weeks of jail time in Honolulu. U.S. Attorney Edward Kubo Jr. said the woman reported that not only was her entire vacation ruined, but she continues to suffer emotionally from the incident. His excuse? He had been drinking. You don’t say.