Jennifer Lopez Celebrates Unofficial End of Recession with “Louboutins”

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Basically everyone’s still broke or unemployed, but that doesn’t matter! What does is that the Great Recession is over. Psyche! It isn’t. However, this pathetic whisper the closest thing we’re seeing to last fall’s bellowing watchword of “Hope” as peddled by too-idealistic politicos who decided to get the four-letter word etched across their eyelids. But let’s just run with it anyway. Selena star Jennifer Lopez has. In fact so much that she’s offering us a carnivorous earwig in the form of “Louboutins.” The two-time Will & Grace siren will be performing her ode to overpriced footwear at next month’s American Music Awards, which is not so much an awards ceremony as it is a suckfest.

However, as Idolator’s Maura Johnston points out, the Maid In Manhattan actress’ new single will already be a year-old upon arrival, as it was originally rejected by Brandy for her 2008 album. Three things before we proceed. 1) Didn’t Brandy kill someone in a car crash? 2) Brandy had an album out last year? and 3) Were you aware that J.Lo was trying to rip off Beyoncé’s Sasha Fierce alter-ego (or perhaps Shakira’s she-wolf persona) by trying to shill Lola? I wasn’t! But that apparently didn’t take.

So perhaps this is J.Lo’s way of downsizing during economic hardship: peddling last-year’s Louboutins now ‘cuz they’re on clearance. Jenny from the block, indeed.